The Most Ridiculous Dialogs At Court
Sometimes, a court is the stage of the most ridiculous dialogs. Here’s a collection of some real nonsense going on in Justicia’s temples.
In the following dialog samples, “L” stands for “Lawyer”, and “W” for “Witness”:
| L: | This “miasteria gravis”, is it affecting your memory? |
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| W: | Yes, I’m forgetting things. |
| L: | Can you give examples of things you’ve forgotten? |
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| L: | Dr. Williams, is it true that when somebody dies while asleep, he is not aware of it until the morning? |
| W: | Have you really passed the lawyer’s exams? |
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| L: | Your youngest 21 year old sun, how old is he? |
| W: | Mmm… 21? |
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| L: | Were you present when this picture of you has been taken? |
| W: | Are you kidding me? |
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| L: | The conceiving date was August 8th? |
| W: | Yes. |
| L: | What were you doing at that time? |
| W: | Mmm… Having sex? |
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| L: | She had three children, right? |
| W: | Yes. |
| L: | How many of them were boys? |
| W: | None. |
| L: | Have there been any girls then? |
| W: | Your honor, I think I need another lawyer! Can I get another lawyer, please? |
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| L: | What has caused the end of your marriage? |
| W: | Death. |
| L: | Whose death ended it? |
| W: | What do you think whose?!? |
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| L: | Dr. Murphy, how many of your autopsies do you perform on dead bodies? |
| W: | All of them. Would you like to rephrase the question? |
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| L: | Remember, ALL of your answers MUST be oral! Now, what was the name of your high school? |
| W: | Oral. |
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| L: | Do you remember the time you began with the autopsy? |
| W: | It was about 8:30 pm. |
| L: | Mr. Danton was already dead? |
| W: | No, he was sitting on my desk wondering why I’m performing an autopsy on him. |
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| L: | Are you qualified to give an urine sample? |
| W: | Are you qualified to ask that question? |
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| L: | Dr. Murphy, before beginning with the autopsy, have you checked the pulse? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | Have you checked the blood pressure? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | Have you checked the breathing? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | So it is possible that the patient was still alive when you began with the autopsy? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | How can you be so sure? |
| W: | His brains were in a jar on my desk. |
| L: | I see. But was there nontheless a chance the patient was alive? |
| W: | Yes, he could have been alive and working as a lawyer. |
But enough of jokes. Back to serious business… In the next post.
Tags: Fun
“You never know what you missed”
Does this sentence have any meaning?
Patrick, for Akismet, that sentence probably meant “spam”, so it placed your comment in my spam queue 😉
And I must admit, I’m a bit puzzled, and I don’t quite get your point?!? 😮
(I actually believe I had that sentence in real spam quite often… If I didn’t know you, I would have tended to agree with Akismet 😛 )