The Most Ridiculous Dialogs At Court
Sometimes, a court is the stage of the most ridiculous dialogs. Here’s a collection of some real nonsense going on in Justicia’s temples.
In the following dialog samples, “L” stands for “Lawyer”, and “W” for “Witness”:
| L: | This “miasteria gravis”, is it affecting your memory? |
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| W: | Yes, I’m forgetting things. |
| L: | Can you give examples of things you’ve forgotten? |
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| L: | Dr. Williams, is it true that when somebody dies while asleep, he is not aware of it until the morning? |
| W: | Have you really passed the lawyer’s exams? |
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| L: | Your youngest 21 year old sun, how old is he? |
| W: | Mmm… 21? |
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| L: | Were you present when this picture of you has been taken? |
| W: | Are you kidding me? |
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| L: | The conceiving date was August 8th? |
| W: | Yes. |
| L: | What were you doing at that time? |
| W: | Mmm… Having sex? |
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| L: | She had three children, right? |
| W: | Yes. |
| L: | How many of them were boys? |
| W: | None. |
| L: | Have there been any girls then? |
| W: | Your honor, I think I need another lawyer! Can I get another lawyer, please? |
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| L: | What has caused the end of your marriage? |
| W: | Death. |
| L: | Whose death ended it? |
| W: | What do you think whose?!? |
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| L: | Dr. Murphy, how many of your autopsies do you perform on dead bodies? |
| W: | All of them. Would you like to rephrase the question? |
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| L: | Remember, ALL of your answers MUST be oral! Now, what was the name of your high school? |
| W: | Oral. |
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| L: | Do you remember the time you began with the autopsy? |
| W: | It was about 8:30 pm. |
| L: | Mr. Danton was already dead? |
| W: | No, he was sitting on my desk wondering why I’m performing an autopsy on him. |
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| L: | Are you qualified to give an urine sample? |
| W: | Are you qualified to ask that question? |
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| L: | Dr. Murphy, before beginning with the autopsy, have you checked the pulse? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | Have you checked the blood pressure? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | Have you checked the breathing? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | So it is possible that the patient was still alive when you began with the autopsy? |
| W: | No. |
| L: | How can you be so sure? |
| W: | His brains were in a jar on my desk. |
| L: | I see. But was there nontheless a chance the patient was alive? |
| W: | Yes, he could have been alive and working as a lawyer. |
But enough of jokes. Back to serious business… In the next post.
Tags: Fun
“You never know what you missed”
Does this sentence have any meaning?
Patrick, for Akismet, that sentence probably meant “spam”, so it placed your comment in my spam queue
And I must admit, I’m a bit puzzled, and I don’t quite get your point?!?
(I actually believe I had that sentence in real spam quite often… If I didn’t know you, I would have tended to agree with Akismet
)