The Most Ridiculous Dialogs At Court

Apr 4, 2009   //   by Hackadelic   //   Blog  //  2 Comments

Courtroom One GavelSometimes, a court is the stage of the most ridiculous dialogs. Here’s a collection of some real nonsense going on in Justicia’s temples.

In the following dialog samples, “L” stands for “Lawyer”, and “W” for “Witness”:

L: This “miasteria gravis”, is it affecting your memory?
W: Yes, I’m forgetting things.
L: Can you give examples of things you’ve forgotten?

L: Dr. Williams, is it true that when somebody dies while asleep, he is not aware of it until the morning?
W: Have you really passed the lawyer’s exams?

L: Your youngest 21 year old sun, how old is he?
W: Mmm… 21?

L: Were you present when this picture of you has been taken?
W: Are you kidding me?

L: The conceiving date was August 8th?
W: Yes.
L: What were you doing at that time?
W: Mmm… Having sex?

L: She had three children, right?
W: Yes.
L: How many of them were boys?
W: None.
L: Have there been any girls then?
W: Your honor, I think I need another lawyer! Can I get another lawyer, please?

L: What has caused the end of your marriage?
W: Death.
L: Whose death ended it?
W: What do you think whose?!?

L: Dr. Murphy, how many of your autopsies do you perform on dead bodies?
W: All of them. Would you like to rephrase the question?

L: Remember, ALL of your answers MUST be oral! Now, what was the name of your high school?
W: Oral.

L: Do you remember the time you began with the autopsy?
W: It was about 8:30 pm.
L: Mr. Danton was already dead?
W: No, he was sitting on my desk wondering why I’m performing an autopsy on him.

L: Are you qualified to give an urine sample?
W: Are you qualified to ask that question?

L: Dr. Murphy, before beginning with the autopsy, have you checked the pulse?
W: No.
L: Have you checked the blood pressure?
W: No.
L: Have you checked the breathing?
W: No.
L: So it is possible that the patient was still alive when you began with the autopsy?
W: No.
L: How can you be so sure?
W: His brains were in a jar on my desk.
L: I see. But was there nontheless a chance the patient was alive?
W: Yes, he could have been alive and working as a lawyer.


But enough of jokes. Back to serious business… In the next post.


  • “You never know what you missed”
    Does this sentence have any meaning?

    • Patrick, for Akismet, that sentence probably meant “spam”, so it placed your comment in my spam queue 😉

      And I must admit, I’m a bit puzzled, and I don’t quite get your point?!? 😮

      (I actually believe I had that sentence in real spam quite often… If I didn’t know you, I would have tended to agree with Akismet 😛 )

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