Yahoo Wants Me On The 1st Page Of Google?

Recently I’ve been increasingly getting contact form messages with “SEO Service” offers that “guarantee to get me on the first page of Google”. Interestingly, most of them supply www.yahoo.com as their website URL. WTF?

This is how they mostly read:

Name:     John Smith
Email:    john1234@gmail.com
Website:  http://www.yahoo.com
Subject:  SEO Services
Message:

SEO Services

We would like to get your website on first page of Google.

All of our processes use the most ethical “white hat” Search Engine Optimization techniques that will not get your website banned or penalized. Please reply and I would be happy to send you a proposal.

Note the “white hat” mention? How absurd to do so in spam! 😮

And that it’s spam is absolutely obvious. I’m not sure if it is automated or manual spam, but it is spam. The question is only if there is a SEO business  behind it at all, or is it just email harvesting.

Whichever it is, what strikes me is the incredible dumbness how it is written. Obviously, spam continues to be written by idiots and for idiots, because I can’t see any way that a human being with any kind of half-way functioning brain could ever fall for such wording and take any action in response other than pressing the DELETE button.

But putting Yahoo as their website URL, while saying they’ll get you on the 1st page of Google, who must be the #1 thorn in Yahoo’s flesh after taking over their SE market, is sooo much behind ridiculousness, so much dumber than dumbness, that I don’t even have words for it.

Now I could list the criteria that I would expect fulfilled from a half-way decent SEO offer, but then I wouldn’t want to find them included in the next spam wave.1 No no, bloody spammers, you just keep sending me dumb messages that I can quickly identify as such and delete.

God, I hate stupidity! 😀

1. They are obvious anyway. [↩]

5 Comments

• 
  Bill Empey September 9, 2011 at 6:51 pm

  Can you get me on 1st page at Google?
  • 
    Hackadelic September 19, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    yes I can 🙂
• 
  Chris November 12, 2010 at 12:22 am

  I had a guy call me last night, trying to sell me the software that he used to “scrape” my contact info off the internet. It’s spammers recruiting spammers.

  I do think it’s a good thing sometimes though. I was in a bad mood all day, but after letting him have it, I felt much better.
  • 
    Hackadelic November 18, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Chris, lol, “letting him have it” made me lough 🙂
• 
  Steve June 10, 2010 at 4:13 pm

  I have had a few good ones in the past through contact forms, and the email spam that sometimes get through the filters, from banks that you’re not even a part of asking for confirmation details; or the usual PayPal scams going around.

  You’re right though, supposedly someone from Yahoo.com with a GMail email address promoting SEO services for Google, that made me laugh.

  These spammers can’t even do the job properly! 🙂