These Dumb Spammers!

Warning: Rant follows!

Since I recently wrote “Spam Gratitude“, the amount of spam I’m getting has almost doubled. Now I don’t know if this is just an unlucky coincidence, or a mind-sick manifestation of the law of attraction, but whatever it is, it provides occasion for studying spam. And what I believe to have found out is:

Spammers must be real morons.

(If you are a spammer, and feel insulted now, your’re welcome. Read on – I have every intention to insult you a couple of times more. )

Let’s look at two typical spam comments.

Sample #1:

Money isn’t everything, my friend.

REPEAT
  ECHO http://www.s*xtoys.com
FOREVER

Sample #2:

Nice post. I agree with you 100%.

REPEAT
  ECHO http://www.enlargmets.com/$something
    FOR $something IN $RELEVANT_BODY_PARTS
FOREVER

One would think that, by now, every person on this planet with access to the Internet and an IQ of 40+ should have heard about spamblockers, and that putting too many links, or using those keywords in $RELEVANT_BODY_PARTS is easily caught for. Not to mention that links in comments are automatically nofollowed and therefore useless to them anyway.

Virtually every relevant web platform has these basic measures built-in by now. And still, they keep pouring that same old sh*t onto us over and over again.

Well stop it!!! You god BEEP BEEP son of a BEEP!!! BEEP off!!! And stay off!!!

Hey, don’t look at me like that! I promised I’d do this!

Admitted, many of them are spambots, not humans. So insulting them kinda makes little sense. But somebody had to code that spambot. Then (s)he is that absolute moron!

Jesus Christ, people! Just because you know how to use a keyboard doesn’t make you a coder. Sure, you probably think you are one. Dream on. And while you’re asleep, a slight feeling of extra peace might visit upon this world.

So, little spammer? Still here? Dispite all the insults? I knew you spammy folks are absolutely insensible characters. Like all morons.

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